Personal Communication
One evening my friends and I were having dinner at Pearl as we usually do every night. We had become regulars of the restaurant and befriended a server named Ganish. His smile grew from ear to ear every time we had dinner at Pearl not only because we gave him very generous tips but also because we casually conversed with him. One specific night after seating us he mentioned that his shift was finishing so we would then be served by another waiter. We invited him to sit with us and had begun to converse more in depth. We asked him a little about his background and he told us that he was 32 years old with a wife and a 5 year old son.
My study focuses on challenging behaviors of children between the ages of 5-12 so I was interested in his point of view on how to handle these behaviors. He expressed that his son did not have abnormal or bad behaviors but acted very similar to other average behaving boys his age, he rarely has tantrums but not to any extreme degree. I asked him what his role was when his child displayed one of those rare tantrums and he said that he typically lets his wife handle those challenging behaviors and that he is not as involved in the behavioral discipline of his child. Ganish did not view this as a problem but expressed it as the way their culture is. According to Jambunathan, and Counselman (2002) parenting styles in India are more authoritarian compared to Indian families in the United States being more authoritative. Literature has supported that the most successful type of parenting is authoritative (Jambunathan & Counselman, 2002), this raises the question on how can we make a shift from authoritarian type of parenting to authoritative in India.
Ganish justifies this parenting technique by saying this is the societies traditions so that is the way it will continue to be. He told us if his wife experienced a larger scale issue with their son then he would step in but for the most part his wife handles the mild to minor ill behaviors. This is the way Ganish’s parents raised him and the way his parents were raised, he is just continuing the tradition. It is important to understand these unique Indian values because from an outsider’s perspective because I can make the distinction between this traditionally different parenting styles with the various styles displayed here in America. The majority of families I have witnessed in Miami have both parents equally involved in all aspects of their child or children’s lives, if both parents cannot be involved then usually the parent with the least demanding job will take on the role of being more involved, whether it be the mother or father.
What role does this person see that the global community has in addressing these issues? How realistic is this based upon the current research findings?
Ganish did address to us that he would be open to parenting classes and receiving more education on how to be the best type of parent he can. Mejia, Calam, and Sanders (2012) did a review on parenting programs in developing countries, including India. The results showed that majority of programs have been intended to prevent emotional and behavioral outcomes and that it is necessary to invest resources to evaluate evidence parenting interventions for developing countries. Ganish lives in Mysore which is semi-urban but expressed that he has family in rural villages that have the same parenting styles.
The entire time we spoke to Ganish he seemed very happy and open minded to our suggestions. Not only did we interview him but he interviewed us on what our values and beliefs were when it came to parenting. He expressed to us that us being students travelling from the United States to his home country of India to learn about global health showed how dedicated we are to our work. Through this short conversation I feel like we made an impact on him to think deeper about how his wife and he are raising his child and to broaden their mind on what is the most successful way. According to Mejia, Calam, and Sanders (2012) we can overcome these traditional ideas through a Triple P Positive Parenting Program which has been deemed effective by Sanders (2008). This program is easily adaptable, low cost, and can be used as a public health model in rural and urban communities.
References
Jambunathan, S., & Counselman, K. (2002). Parenting attitudes of Asian Indian mothers living in the United States and in India. Early Child Development and Care, 172(6), 657-662.
Mejia, A., Calam, R., & Sanders, M. R. (2012). A review of parenting programs in developing countries: opportunities and challenges for preventing emotional and behavioral difficulties in children. Clinical child and family psychology review, 15(2), 163-175.
Sanders, M. R. (2008). Triple P-positive parenting program as a public health approach to strengthening parenting. Journal of Family Psychology, 22(4), 506–517.